Important aspects into the Nature and Role Therapy plays in Healing Forgiveness:
Process of Change– The process of change is notable and important just as much as the actual changes that are needing to be made. The therapist must be able to make a personal connection with the client. The therapist must give careful consideration to what he or she attends to, be it thoughts, emotions, behaviors etc., as the client will naturally tend to those things (Worthington, p. 157, 2006.) For example, if the client brings up emotions of unforgiveness surrounding a focal problem, the therapist should inquire more fully to understand both the depth of unforgiveness as well as the root. There are often many insignificant things along the path that require forgiveness but are not, however, the main focus of forgiveness for the deep offense.
Personality Change– personality change takes place when a client is able to maintain gains through sustainable efforts of consistently modifying unwanted behavior by replacing that behavior with desirable behaviors/actions (Worthington, p. 155, 2006.)
Exercises in REACHing forgiveness include the creation of action plans that are possible to obtain. Many people, upon attending therapy are frustrated as their previous attempts of coping and managing have failed them. It is at this point that clients need bite-sized, manageable options for seeing their plans come to fruition. Change is possible in-so-much as the client is able to see their strengths and abilities in instituting desired change while being able to work through that change as well. Motives play a significant role in aiding the client’s ability to change as does a past history of successful change; both of which should be used as frequent encouraging reminders throughout the therapy sessions.
Therapists working with client’s self-condemnation (self-forgiveness) is another issue in forgiveness therapy. The client may not only be struggling with an inability to forgive someone their transgression, but also an inability to forgive themselves for either not being a forgiving person, or simply because the transgression was caused by themselves, and they do not feel oriented in a way in which they feel they are able to let go of the hurt they have caused others. While self-forgiveness is not the aim of this website or research, Everett L. Worthington Jr. wrote a book solely dedicated to this cause titled, “Moving Forward, Six Steps to Forgiving Yourself and Breaking Free from the Past.” I encourage those struggling with a lack of self-forgiveness to look in to this resource more fully. Also, as Christian counselors, we must heed the command to, “love God and love others AS WE LOVE OURSELVES” (Mark 12:30a, 31a) and teach this those working through forgiveness.